A list of the top ten New Year Resolutions has been compiled by Kimberly & Albrecht Powell of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I have no idea how they came by this list, but it seemed one place to start for a little inspiration on this matter. Here is the list:

Hmm, I’m afraid these ones do not inspire me terribly.
After all, I don’t smoke, I already go lots of walks, the bulge is tamed, I enjoy my life, drinking is not a problem, I am not in debt, I am always learning new things, I do help others, and I’m already reasonably well organized.

I’ve seen another list that adds “save money, get a better job, eat right, get a better education, reduce stress, and take a trip.”
Well, those are all kind of hackneyed and except for the last two, are not terribly relevant in my situation.

I’ve found another list of only five, for Managers this time:

Goals - yes!
I like defining goals, and then setting out to meet them. They work much better for me than resolutions.

Does anyone remember Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis that became popular back in the 1970s?

Berne figured that people’s psychology could be seen as the interaction of three main ego states within the self - Parent, Adult and Child - and each would supply internal messages criss-crossing the mind, both conscious and subconscious, to direct thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
The Parent ego state could be separated into Critical Parent on one hand, and Nurturing Parent on the other. The Critical parent would do the growling and blaming while the Nurturing Parent would do the, well, nurturing.
The Adult ego state was mainly made up of whatever was rational, logical and objective.
And the Child ego state was also separated into the Adapted Child which is the well-behaved-according-to-society part, and the Rebellious Child which was usually getting into all kinds of unfortunate messes and tribulations.

Now when it comes to New Year Resolutions, this is what I see happening in me….

A New Year Resolution comes along, generated from my Parent ego state within.
Perhaps it is one that requires me doing something I really should be doing but am a bit lazy about - like “clean up my desk at the end of the day”.
Now if there is a “should” about anything, that is usually the Critical Parent speaking. You can surely see the finger wagging with it. And Parent ego states invariably hook responses from the Child within.
So for the first couple of weeks into January, my Adapted Child trots along obediently cleaning up my desk every day until out pops that Rebellious Child who pouts and announces the challenge: “Make me!”
Oh-oh, as any parent knows, unless considerable diplomacy is used, that becomes a call to man the battle stations. Or maybe the Parent is tired and says “what does it matter? and isn’t this a bit trivial?” and that’s New Year Resolution #1 down the gurgler.

But when it comes to goals, I find something else happens.
These are much better things because command language is usually left out - the shoulds, must and oughts that can provoke resentment and guilt. They are more likely to be objective statements - and as the TA folks would say, originate out of the Adult ego state.
Unless one starts to hassle oneself with extra “shoulds” - as in, I must achieve my goals, worry, worry - then goals are far more likely to be achieved than resolutions obeyed. It’s all about human nature, I guess.

Now here’s another list I have found, and these ones are quite lofty but very worthwhile:

If I can keep out the finger wagging “I should” and instead, think about each one as a goal, a specific behaviour that I can choose to employ, then I am probably about set for whatever else I decide to do through the year.