CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN — “Appearances count for a lot. A similar expression was current among the ancient Greeks: ‘The garment makes the man.’ In the form ‘apparel makes the man’ the idea turned up in England as early as the 16th century. A century later it was sometimes put as ‘the taylor makes the man.”
~ from “The Dictionary of Cliches” by James Rogers (Ballantine Books, New York, 1985).

Two little items of news appeared in this morning’s newspaper (among others) and while in separate columns they rather coincidentally turned out to be along side each other.

The first concerned something going on in Britain at the moment - Butlers in the Buff, a business success story where male waiters wear only a bow tie, collar, cuffs and a bottom-revealing apron. This was marketed as a tasteful alternative to strippers and pole dancers and the like, all strictly “no touch” and most definitely to be “cheeky but clean”. To be considered for such a job one had to be male, nice, charming, a gentlemanly type - rather James Bond-ish, obviously young and in suitably good shape.

Well, I need not apply. I don’t have all the right chromosomes for a start - and no comment regarding the rest. But concerning just the chromosomes, I do for the next little story.

Father Felice, an Italian priest, has put up a sign at the entrance to the church in Cinisello Balsamo, Milan. The sign reads: “God knew what your navel looked like before you were born, so there is no need to expose it in church.” Father Felice is reported to have said that he put up the sign because his parish cannot afford to hire guards to keep out low-cut jeans and high-cut tops. It would seem that young ladies with bare midriffs are not very welcome.

Humans do have a tendency to get rather hung up on the human body. Some like to look at it, and obviously some don’t. Having seen the unclothed version in various shapes, sizes and conditions a vast and countless number of times in the course of a professional (hospital) career, for me personally I can probably “take it or leave it” without getting overwrought in any way. I guess there is that factor of cultural normality that one would usually take into account - the expectation of what you might see depending on where you happen to look. There are plenty of barely clad bodies down at the beach on a hot summer’s day, but when I go out to dine my expectation is not usually the rear cheeky smile of someone’s naked behind. Of course, if I do not fancy bare bottoms with my buffet, I need not visit there again.

But those low-cut jeans and high-cut tops are a youth fashion thing and it is quite customary to see them wherever one finds young ladies who like to be fashionable. They wouldn’t suit me despite my son’s recommendation that I should “get with it” and risk the kidney chill. No, not really for me. But for many, it is. Clothes - all the why, what, when and where about them - are largely cultural matters.

Now Father Felice has adopted something less than a water-tight argument for his ban on belly buttons. So God has probably seen your one even before it came about, but while that might be a reason for not needing to expose it, that might equally be a reason for not needing to hide it. The problem with keeping out low-cut jeans and high-cut tops is that you also keep out the person inside them. Is that what he wants?

On Sundays my mother used to dress me up in my best clothes - best frock, best shoes, and even a little hat to match. I hated the hat but that didn’t come into it. I was admonished not to get dirty, and most definately not to swing upsidedown on the bikestands on my way to visit God. That certainly wasn’t much fun for a kid who liked swinging upsidedown on bikestands. The odd thing was that my mother remembered hating having to take an umbrella with her when she was a kid being sent off to visit God, and she used to hide it under a hedge in order to reclaim it on the way back. But if I had expected some leniency on account of that, then I was right out of luck. My mother had since become a grownup and that put paid to any leniency of that kind. Sitting in church with elastic under one’s chin is quite irksome. I did sometimes wonder if God would mind very much if I just took it off provided I didn’t forget and leave it behind.

Does God really mind about things like that? If God can see one’s navel, and surely He can since He can also see into our hearts and minds, and that is where we are told that He looks - into hearts and minds, I mean, rather than at navels - then maybe other things matter more to Him than those cultural outside appearances.