Why should it matter whether Mary and Joseph were married or not? What difference does it make? Jesus was born anyway…

Two reasons come to mind. There may well be others.

Firstly, I think it is important that we tell the story according to how it is told in Scripture, and that any paraphrasing of it must be faithful to that particular reality. It must not add any bias or distortion from our own culture. The truth matters! It is like the game of Chinese Whispers. As the story goes around, subtle changes become less and less subtle until the message heard at the other end is something quite different from the message as it started out. Making an effort to get it right helps minimize that effect. Rather than say “His parents were unmarried” it is more truthful to say “Mary was betrothed to Joseph” or “though Joseph had taken Mary as his wife, their marriage was not yet consummated”. It may sound a little pedantic, but it is accurate. And that brings me to the second reason…

If the parents of Jesus are described as unmarried (no further clarification given) it is an easy step to take to suppose that having a child out of wedlock is an OK situation… after all, it might be said, Mary and Joseph did it! Nope, their situation does not condone such a thing. The circumstances were utterly unique, having never happened before, and not ever again since. No amount of identification with Mary will condone a breaking of God’s moral law. Mary did not break God’s moral law, but anyone who conceives a child outside of marriage has indeed done so. The newspaper account had it that their traditional society viewed that fact as shameful. Yes, that is so. However, the truth in this instance is far from embarrasing or shameful. It would indeed be shameful for any other woman to be pregnant prior to marriage, especially back in those times when “society” did not sanction such a thing, but it is very important to be quite clear that the truth of Mary’s circumstances is a reason for rejoicing. Great rejoicing! And far from being caught up in shame, Mary herself rejoiced, proclaiming those lovely words known as the Magnificat…

My soul doth magnify the Lord,
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.
And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.
He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.
He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He hath helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;
As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.

(Luke 1:46-55, KJV)