A most daring prayer
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It is not a good idea to ask God to do something if you do not really mean it… but a very good idea to ask if you do. I’ve listened to a number of people tell me that God doesn’t answer prayer. He has not responded in the way, or the time, that they have expected of Him. It is awfully human to decide from such an experience that God just isn’t listening, doesn’t particularly care, or maybe doesn’t even exist. We have very high expectations of Him, especially as He is known to be all powerful and so gracious, merciful and loving… and therefore it is easy to get impatient and disillusioned, those of us with little faith and knowledge of His ways. There is much to be said about that… another time. However, there is one prayer that takes real courage to pray. This is a very daring prayer that will take you on a journey, and it may be through some very rough terrain, stormy weather, and scenery not of your choosing. Pray it with caution, but with sincerity and a willingness to listen, and you’ll certainly not be disappointed. It comes from Psalm 139… the last two verses. A little while ago there was something niggling at my conscience, something to which I really did not wish to pay attention. It just lay there at the bottom of my mind, sending up the occasional little burst of bubbles which broke upon the surface to disturb the pleasant calm. Then one day, having prayed that daring prayer, I knew I had to do it… get up the courage and risk sharing their source with someone, another Christian who could be trusted with such confidences. The result was incredible, and not unlike an intensive spring-clean which went deep into my soul. It was painful… deeply distressing, and it didn’t stop there. |
The journey was indeed rough. It was emotional. It was spiritual. It meant stopping something and committing to a different course of action. It meant being sorry, and while my friend (an Anglican priest as it happened) spoke so gently, kindly and caringly without condemnation, it was myself who condemned me. God forgives generously all those who are truly sorry and will turn to go His way instead of their own. There was no doubt in my mind about that, but I had not realized how much our wrongdoing causes Him pain as well. Of course… He died on the cross, crucified for our transgressions, the propitiation for our sin. His suffering was far greater than anything we have suffered or ever will. As the spring-cleaning proceeded, I became aware of other things in need of repentance, but as time went on, the process did come to feel less ruthless and terrible.
But isn’t this all a bit too personal to post? Why? The reality is that we are all sinners, every one of us, our wills biased naturally towards unrighteousness. Only in genuine repentance will we find God’s forgiveness. And in finding it, having turned back to Him, there is the incredibly loving experience of restoration that He brings about. It is certainly painful, quite terribly so, to let oneself hear what God finds when He looks into one’s heart… but equally a real joy to have His hand touch, forgive, heal and bless in return. It is really worth facing the mop and bucket for such a restorative blessing from Him.
