Throughout my Journal, and on other pages of this website, I have written of my personal spiritual journey so that others who are interested may read of the road along which I have travelled in my faith in God. I have gathered up those vignettes, ordering chronologically the development of this most precious relationship of my life, and they can be found on this page: Judah’s Journey

This is the story of how God and I have encountered each other during my time in this world, the part especially where I have noticed Him although He has always known me, always been with me… as He knows and is with each one of us. All of us are called to acknowledge Him, and my hope is that you who are reading here will also respond to His call and come to the foot of His cross where you will meet Him, He who would be your Saviour and your forgiving, loving Lord.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

(Isaiah 53:5)

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I asked the Lord that I might grow In faith and love and every grace; Might more of his salvation know, And seek more earnestly his face. ‘Twas he who taught me thus to pray, And he, I trust, has answered prayer; But it has been in such a way As almost drove me to despair. I hoped that in some favoured hour At once he’d answer my request; And by his love’s constraining power, Subdue my sins and give me rest. Instead of this he made me feel The hidden evils of my heart, And let the angry powers of hell Assault my soul in every part. Yea more, with his own hand he seemed Intent to aggravate my woe; Crossed all the fair designs I’d schemed, Blasted my gourds and laid me low. “Lord, why is this,” I trembling cried; “Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?” “‘Tis in this way,” the Lord replied, “I answer prayer for grace and faith. These inward trials I employ From self and pride to set thee free And break thy schemes of earthly joy, That thou mayest seek thy all in me.” ~ John Newton (1725 – 1827)

The journey continues… In a previous entry I shared my experience of a most daring prayer, that being a verse of Psalm 139. Unlike those who have told me that God seldom seems to be listening to them, or if He does then He doesn’t respond, I was far from disappointed. The result of sincerely praying those words was incredible, a convincing confirmation that there was certainly Somebody listening and indeed taking notice. It is not that I needed any convincing, but I do have friends who claim not to have any responses to their prayerful entreaties, even to the point of losing faith and giving up altogether on God. Given my own experiences, this weighs heavily on me. I know Him personally to be faithful, generous and loving… but those friends are not experiencing Him as I do. To some of them God just isn’t real. He doesn’t come through for them, and that is simply that. But wait a mo… hear me out, I tell them. There is far more to prayer than the furnishing of a shopping list, with due dates, and maybe some bargaining added to the mix (a measure of one’s desperation, perhaps). That is not what it is about. No way! It is actually about a relationship. Perhaps the most widely known prayer is the one that begins “Our Father…” The words are those of Jesus who enraged and scandalised the religious authorities of the day by teaching His disciples that they may call God their father if they are followers of Himself. Being a child of God does not happen automatically by virtue of being human. This point eludes a great many people. It is a nice cosy sentiment… the universal brotherhood of man, the universal fatherhood of God. But that is free masonry, and universalism, not Biblical Christianity. It was His disciples whom Jesus was teaching to pray this way, and this is the context that often gets ignored. As is written in Scripture, God adopts as His children only those who truly believe in, and so follow, His eternal Son Jesus. This relationship with God is not to be assumed otherwise, and it is this relationship that underlies the promises God has agreed to honour. Whereas God does not limit Himself to answering prayer only within this relationship, it is certainly the properties of this special relationship that impinge greatly on the way we come to pray, the content and motivation of our prayer, and the responses that follow from God. It is within this relationship, properly ordered where God is Sovereign and my chief end is, in the words of the Westminster Shorter Catechism, to “glorify God and enjoy Him forever”, that I am to submit myself to the will of God and, by the working of His Holy Spirit, become increasingly like Christ. I know that sounds horribly religious, saying it like that, but the bottom line for all prayer is that this end is achieved. Anything that I ask for myself (and on behalf of others) must have that end in view, that our gracious God is honoured and glorified. Prayer of that kind, with that motive, is never unanswered. Included will be the provision of all my genuine needs, those of body, mind and soul. But here’s the crunch… should I hold on to anything that I know to be sin, or attempt to deny it as sin, and be unwilling to give that up, then that may become an obstacle to such an end. Then God will appear not to be listening. So with John Newton, author of the poem and hymn quoted here, I share the same request… and likewise find myself travelling a very similar path these days.

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Clicking back through my Journal posts on Christmas I came across one for which I can claim no credit as the author, but the message is as meaningful to me today as it was back then… even more so.

Some of the words caught my eye… “that which is good and precious in your life need never be lost, and what is evil and undesirable in your life can be changed.”

This was being said about Christmas, and the message of Christmas. It had to do with the real reason for our celebrating, the hushed reason that offends secular ears and embarrasses those who believe their Christian friends fuss too much over the birth of some baby way back then. It had to do with change…

Now here’s a question for you. What would you, when being very honest with yourself, like to change in your life? For instance, do you have any bad habits?

Wherever people say about their bad habits, “That’s just the way I am, you’ll have to get used to it,” the message of Christmas has been rejected. I’ve also heard them say “God made me that way” as though God is then to blame, if any blame is warranted, and not oneself.

Read on (if you dare)…

Before anyone says, “Oh, I’ve tried religion and it didn’t help,” let me ask this: How many of you have ever fasted for three days? Two days? One day? Have you taken the word of God, asked for a vacation day, gone away by yourself Friday through Sunday and saturated your mind with holiness and poured out your soul in longing to the Lord for change? Have you gathered around yourself two or three spiritual brothers or sisters, shared with them the habit you want to break, sought their daily earnest prayer and stood yourself accountable to them? If not, then don’t say religion doesn’t work.

Moses fasted forty days, Elijah fasted forty days, Jesus fasted forty days and spent whole nights in prayer. When was the last time you wanted any change in your life bad enough to spend one whole day in prayer and fasting seeking it from the Lord, not to mention three days like Paul (Acts 9:9) or three weeks like Daniel (Daniel 10:2,3), or forty days like Moses?

The writer of those words is John Piper, and he goes on to say…

The problem with most of us is not that the Christmas message is powerless, but that we don’t really want to be changed. “You will seek me and find me (says the Lord, in Jeremiah 29:13) when you seek me with all your heart.” When you want with all your heart to rid yourself of what is evil and undesirable, God will give you the Christmas gift of change.

The message of Christmas is that what is evil and undesirable in your life can be changed. A critical spirit can be changed. Alcoholism can be changed. Irritability can be changed. Harshness and ingratitude can be changed. Laziness and overeating and masturbation and nagging can be changed. The habits of not tithing and excessive T.V. watching and gambling can be changed. The fear of talking to others and of having guests over to your house can be changed. The lack of appreciation for great music and great books can be changed. Indifference to beauty can be changed. And your disposition to remind somebody else to take this sermon to heart can be changed. Christ Jesus came into the world to save us from fatalism. He came to stop people from saying, “That’s just the way I am.”

Ouch! John Piper certainly goes for the jugular when he describes some of those bad habits most of us would rather not admit to, or ‘fess up. Sure, I can pick out those that aren’t mine, just as you can too, but I have no reason to feel righteous as the sheer mention of some has me bouncing off the springboard, remembering others that will stick to me. I don’t really like that, so what shall I do? Then he goes on…

By the power of Christ you can change.
“The saying is sure and worthy of full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into to the world to save you from bondage to sin.” We are not by nature beautiful people. But we have an incomparably beautiful Savior who came into the world to change us into his likeness (Romans 8:29).

OK Pastor John, just when I thought I was on vacation, I see I have far more of the journey to go. It never lets up, or if it does, not for too long. Off I go…

Look for The Message of Christmas under the heading “Pages” on the left-hand navigational side-bar to read more.

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I’m not really much of a gardener and weeds do rather get away on me. But the Roses are prolific, the Geraniums sure know how to climb, and the Bourganvilia might have managed better had they not been so smothered until just the other week. Luckily the Marigolds, Snapdragons, and other little pretties (can’t remember their names) seem to like it where they found themselves, and the Daisies and Daphne are faithful every year anyway. Just as well. As much as I love them all, I’m not a very good mother to them. I just don’t have green thumbs.

Would it help if I was to make a New Year’s Resolution? Take better care of my flowers! I doubt it. My experience of New Year Resolutions is that they usually work in reverse. They seem to trigger the Oppositional Switch in my personality, and that guarrantees certain failure.

What I do find works for me, once I learnt to become organized some time ago, is a list of goals… or tasks. Things to do. Verbs. Things to achieve. Nouns. Going to the extent of adding “due dates” made it too much like school assignments, so I stopped before getting that far. Too easy to give myself extensions for insufficient reasons. But keeping lists and checking off items gave a sense of accomplishment, and made even more sense when I broke down those goals, and the tasks that led to them, into sub-tasks or little steps on the way. They could get checked off as well, and my life would become a glowing record of tiny accomplishments. Just like school these days where nobody fails anymore… just simply “not achieved” er, yet. How postmodern and up with the Age!

So… it is early New Year’s Day, and I have some goals to write down. I have been thinking of them all December (while lying awake with the birdsong) and my keyboard is about to learn of them. No, I’m not making all of them public. Most of them are just for my eyes only… and He who knows every thought before I have even come up with it. But there is an all-encompassing and really massively huge one (well, several) that I can let you know. See if you can match this - be challenged! - for a Really Big Goal…

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
~ Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.
~ Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
~ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
~ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.
~ And be thankful.
~ Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
~ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

(Colossians 3:12-17, NIV)